From my apartment balcony, the beautiful Italian countryside winks at me – I can’t walk in it. Well I can, 200 metres from my front gate and maximum 30 minutes per day. #StayHome is our reality for now. Earth’s request: “Keep your stinky breath out of my way, for now, please and thank you”.
The first ten days were the worst for me. So used to my own space that sharing it with my husband 24/7 took a little [ahem] work. Ups, downs, sideways and a weird feeling of just being ‘flat’, nada, niente.
Nerdiness took hold, click-click-click, and I stumbled across a phrase that just clicked. I stored it:
“When in doubt, go social”
The phrase isn’t mine – it belongs to Deb Dana, a psychologist specialising in how we connect (or not). She’s also a host on a cool podcast called “The Uncensored Therapist” – I love walking and listening.
So what’s ‘social’ got to do with anything? There is a tendency to go into our caves when things get a little tough with thinking like “well, it must be tough for many” or “who cares what I think or feel?” or “I’ve really got nothing to whinge about…” but this kind of thing chips away at us. For some, me included, it becomes a habit to surface only when we feel ‘ok’ or even ‘great’.
How to break this habit? According to Deb Dana:
When in doubt, go SOCIAL!
Oh, ‘social’, meaning hang out with people, right? Ah, well sort of…
Rocket science it is not, however it IS science – neuro-science even. This feeling of ‘flat’ and all the other sensations that go with any kind of [sudden] change, are real and common. In Deb’s podcast (checkout ‘the uncensored therapist), she suggests reaching out to at least one other trusted person will make a huge difference.
“When in doubt, go social” as Deb Dana explains, means not doing it all alone. Reaching out and letting our ‘tribe’ hear us, however we are. “When in doubt, go social”, especially when I don’t feel like connecting with anyone. Sure, I can choose to sit in my own funk. Since practising “going social” and saying how I am over the last few months has made the world of difference to me. I’m even sleeping better. Not every night, but a big improvement for sure.
Going Social doesn’t mean engaging in long WhatsApp texting convos that give me sore thumbs. Going Social like this kind of text: “Today, I’m kinda like this [you could even insert an icon of a poo]” and hit send. My pals usually send back a gif like “I hear ya, girl!” even though they’re not American. It could mean using zoom or Skype to have a virtual tea together (ok, wine time is also great!). We don’t even need to dress up! Across Italy, we have all been clapping at the same time. Cheering for everyone banning together to come out the other side of this time. We are “going social” old school from our balconies.
When in doubt, GO SOCIAL!
Daily I’m experiencing that we are connected to each other. Forging that connection will get us through almost anything – especially when you’re doing it really tough – in whatever way. For those who have people in hospital, have lost loved ones – let’s up our game on what it is to be human.
When in doubt, GO SOCIAL.
How do you “go social”? Comment below, even one word about how you are right now. I’ll hear you, I’m listening.
